[As The SCAR Project Exhibition is en route to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, where it will premiere this Thursday, today’s special guest post by Aussie SCAR girl Heidi Walker, seems an apropos send-off from Sydney, where The SCAR Project just wrapped up its recent exhibit. Heidi attended the Australian premiere. It was a beautiful moment in SCAR history for the exhibit to come back to where it all began, when SCAR Photographer David Jay’s dear friend Paulina was diagnosed with breast cancer. As good friends, he had taken her picture hundreds of times, but the picture he took of her after she had her mastectomy and then showed up in yoga class in her leotard and her new reality of having only one breast, changed things. For David, for Paulina, for all the women who would than contact David to have their portraits taken…for Heidi.]
Guest Post by SCAR Girl Heidi Walker
I am a dreamer. I love to sit with my thoughts, and plan and play, and let my mind wander into nothingness. The future, I just love dreaming about the future. Don’t get me wrong I think I can live in the now and I understand the importance of that “power of now” mind control, but daydreaming is what I do best. I’m happy there. Tuesday 7th November 2006 dreaming ceased. My world stood still and everything kept spinning around me. Reality was my only mind wander. Dark, cruel, harsh, messy, day-by-day, chemo-to-chemo, reality.
I’d noticed a lump, like a pea under my right arm on my honeymoon in the April. I really didn’t think anything of it. A couple of months past until I made my 1st Doctors appointment. I mean I was only just 24, no family history, and healthy.
Cancer just doesn’t happen to this under-the-radar girl.
The doctor agreed, “Just a swollen lymph node,” she said. “Cancer feels grisly; yours doesn’t,” she said. “You’re too young,” she said. Hmmph. By October I started noticing my right arm felt strange, tingly, and the lump had increased. I also felt another lump within my breast. Lump at ten o’clock, lump at eleven o’clock; the clock was ticking on this killer boob.
Those words “your results have been remarkable” make me giggle now. I don’t know what I thought the doctor was going to announce *Cue trumpet “amazing, remarkable golden nugget found within”. Those words confused me. Huh? ”Cancer cells have been detected.” Hold on, a little clearer for the blonde in the room, so, what you are saying is I. Have. Cancer?? *Cue river of tears.
So began this rollercoaster of life with far more twists and turns than I had imagined it would. The previous month, I’d trekked 42kms with my husband and in-laws. I’d just received my wedding album. And I’d resigned one job, to start a new one that would allow me to begin my dream make-up artistry course: *dream-life. But the month in front of me, I’d be having my right breast cut from my body. I’d begin In Vitro Fertilization, in case I became infertile from the six courses of chemo I’d begin.
And I’d throw out all my low cut t-shirts *Booo, add wig shopping to the to-do list, and wonder if I will live, or die.
I was so scared for the girl who would wake up from the anaesthetic, my first anesthetic. Would she be mad at me for taking her breast? Would she forget and not know what I had done to her until she looked down and saw . . . well, nothing but a scar? It was like another person would be waking up. Would I loose myself, along with my breast? I wasn’t sure.
For a while I think I disappeared, became a shadow of myself. I had to control my mind. No future dreams or plans. It felt like a tease to dream of what I felt I wouldn’t reach. Day by day, I just got by, holding on to a glimmer of hope that that dark shadow lurking over my shoulder would dissipate and the sun would shine again.
I stumbled across The SCAR Project accidentally. I hadn’t seen the images, only a small piece from David Jay about his project online. Four years post cancer, I wanted to do something meaningful. Something that might give other young women some hope that cancer isn’t always the end. Sometimes it is.
But I knew that all I wanted when I was first diagnosed was to see other young women growing older . . . having families . . . living . . . thriving . . .
Even though that isn’t always the reality. I never imagined that as I left David’s Bondi studio, a huge wave of empowerment, freedom, and acceptance would come over me. I felt as though I was truly honest for the first time.
This is me. I’m imperfect, but I am alive. Immortalized in print, naked from the waist up.
These images I now know well, my friends, my SCAR sisters. They often stare back at me from my laptop; they give me strength and inspire me when I need it. They are raw and deep; transparent. They are take-your-breath-away-beautiful & shocking. Young women like me. Like you.
These portraits recently graced the walls of the David Jones Elizabeth Street store, Sydney, my home soil. The space was beautiful Circa 1920’s, high ceilings and a soft golden glow pours through the tall arched windows. My breath was literally taken away. I stood staring into the eyes of Darling Jolene, with a lump in my throat and my eyes tingling. So beautiful, painful and honest. I saw Paulina the first of David’s portraits, starring down the camera fiercely; I saw her standing in front of her image, her past. She looks beautiful, fit, and healthy.
My husband and I attended the opening night, and I have been back a second time with my mum and sister. To share such a meaningful part of my life, my healing process with them was a feeling I can’t describe. As they walked around with me I shared these women’s stories, past and present, they were in awe of their courage. Some woman are smiling, even laughing, others are starring into your soul, another crying. Some are living on this earth, some have moved to the next world. I have seen these images before and been touched.
I look back on 2006 with mixed emotions. I was married, *smiley face. Breast Cancer happened, *sad-angry-confused face. But I feel lucky that I’m starring down the 8 year barrel looking back to what was, having faced the struggles that come with illness, disfigurement, life hurdles, and being a young woman. I never want to meet that C witch again, but l try to take away anything positive I can from this experience—or any tough experience—to learn what I can about myself, and about others. Breast cancer, well, it just was. I feel lucky that I can say that today. I hope I can continue to say that. It just was. It changed much in my life, altered a cruisey path. I am scarred, mostly scars that run flesh deep. But I am here now, living and dreaming.
THE SCAR PROJECT ANNOUNCES TORONTO PREMIERE OF THE INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITION—MARCH 28-APRIL 6, 2014
March 3, 2014—The SCAR Project, the groundbreaking photographic exhibition created by fashion photographer David Jay is set to premiere March 28 at Edward Day Gallery, 952 Queen St West, Toronto Ontario.
The SCAR Project is a series of large-scale portraits of young breast cancer survivors. On the surface an awareness raising campaign for young women, The SCAR Project’s deeper message is one of humanity. Ultimately, The SCAR Project is not about breast cancer, but the human condition itself; the images transcend the disease, illuminating the scars that unite us all.
Sponsored by Rethink Breast Cancer, the world-renowned exhibition will open this year’s Breast Fest on March 28, 2014. This marks the first time the exhibition will be shown to Canadian audiences. The gallery will be open for public viewing March 28-April 6 (closed Monday). Gallery hours are Tuesday-Saturday, 10:00 am – 6:00 pm, Sunday by appointment. Admission is free.
A screening of the EMMY Award winning documentary about The SCAR Project: Baring It All will be shown at the Bloor Hotdocs Cinema at 3:30pm on Sunday, March 30. Tickets are $10. A Q&A session with David Jay will follow the screening. www.breastfest.ca.
For more information please contact :
Jennifer Rashwan, Touchwood PR 416.593.0777 x 205, firstname.lastname@example.org
Alma Parvizian, Touchwood PR 416.593.0777 x 202, email@example.com
For more information on Rethink Breast Cancer visit www.rethinkbreastcancer.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
THE SCAR PROJECT: BREAST CANCER IS NOT A PINK RIBBON
THE ALABAMA PROJECT: THE CIVIL RIGHTS OF HEALTH CARE
TO PREMIERE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA JANUARY 7-31, 2013
Birmingham, Alabama—December 6, 2012—Two groundbreaking photographic exhibitions shot by fashion photographer David Jay are set to premiere at University of Alabama at Birmingham’s Visual Arts Gallery: The SCAR Project: Breast Cancer Is Not A Pink Ribbon and The Alabama Project: The Civil Rights of Health Care.
The dual exhibition opens January 7 and runs through January 31, 2013. There will be a ticketed opening night gala on January 11, 5-9pm. General admission to the exhibitions, is free. Private gallery tours with photographer David Jay will be available. Regular screenings of Baring It All, the EMMY Award winning documentary about The SCAR Project will be shown throughout the exhibition.
The SCAR Project is a series of large-scale portraits of young women confronting breast cancer shot by fashion photographer David Jay. The SCAR Project puts a raw, unflinching face on young women and breast cancer while paying tribute to the courage and spirit of the many brave, young women fighting this disease. The SCAR Project subjects range in age from 18-35 and represent the often overlooked, group of young women living with breast cancer in our country today. They’ve journeyed from across America and the world to be photographed for The SCAR Project. More than 100 women have been photographed thus far.
The Alabama Project: The Civil Rights of Health Care is a subset of The SCAR Project. In this project Jay documents a group of young women in Alabama, all in their twenties, battling not only breast cancer but the healthcare system itself. From hospital room to the living room, Jay’s poignant images capture each woman’s faith, perseverance, and beauty.
Producers: Cynthia Ryan, Ph.D., Associate Professor of English, UAB Birmingham & John Thomas Fields, Interim Director, UAB Visual Arts Gallery.
Sponsored by: University of Alabama at Birmingham, Susan G Komen North Central Alabama & Susan Mott Webb Charitable Trust
Contact: Cynthia Ryan email: firstname.lastname@example.org phone: 205.934.8600
Thank you to everyone who turned out for The SCAR Project LA Cocktail Party Fundraiser kick-off event on May 5. It was a beautiful evening and a fantastic kick-off event toward bringing The SCAR Project to Los Angeles in January. We believe it will be one of the most beautiful meaningful art exhibits to grace the City of Angels.
“I was thrilled with the SPLA kick off party,” said SCAR LA Producer Diana Haye, heading up the committee to bring the exhibition to LA “to honor the 12 women I have lost to breast cancer and ALL women who have been affected. I can think of no better way to honor the women we’ve lost and the women who are on the battlefield with cancer. I have never been so profoundly moved by anything as I have by The SCAR Project.
“We are well on our way to getting the word out in LA, said Haye. “We had a very diverse crowd at the kick-off, all extremely supportive and profoundly touched by The SCAR Project documentary: Baring It All and the SCAR girls who attended the event and shared about their SCAR Project experiences. I would have to say that the event went better than anticipated. No glitches! Fabulous people and fabulous food.”
Special thanks go out to our gracious host Tom Zahlten, caterer Michael Curry for the amazing spread, Lucy Svimonoff for providing sign language interpreting, Style Network’s Taylor Hennessy for gracing us with her presence and introducing the Emmy nominated SCAR Project documentary which she was instrumental in the shaping of for Style Network, the SCAR girls who came and shared their stories, and Jacquie McColgan for being such a ridiculous generous hostess of the SCAR girls (and me) while in town. Also SCAR girl Jolene’s beautiful mama (Denise, pictured above) made a very special guest appearance and said a few words.
A very special moment of the evening as she honored her beautiful Jolene, who recently passed away in October. Jolene was one of the youngest SCAR girls. She was only 17 when she was diagnosed. She was only 25 when she passed away. That is the absolute reality of why we do this. This bitch of a disease must end.
(Rest in peace, beautiful Jolene… although, I rather picture you flying or cloud surfing.)
Besides raising seed a little money for the expenses involved in bringing the international exhibition to LA in January, of which the proceeds will benefit Breast Cancer Angels of Southern California, both shipping costs to LA and catering (skills not food supplies) for the Gala opening were donated. Also, in case you missed this first cocktail party/screening of “Baring It All” a few more were booked at the kick-off event and are coming soon… so stay tuned at The SCAR Project LA group page on Facebook.
In other news and on other cocktail napkins, the cocktail party kick-off for The SCAR Project DC is just a few weeks away. David Jay and some of the SCAR girls will be speaking at the event, with DC news anchor/survivor Kristen Berset as mistress of ceremonies. Guests at the kick-off event will have the first opportunity to purchase tickets for The SCAR Project DC exhibition, before they are released to the general public. There will be SCAR Project books and “Baring It All” dvds for sale.
There are only a few tickets left for The SCAR Project DC cocktail party kick-off on June 20th at The Dunes art gallery in Columbia Heights. For tickets, or more info about the DC exhibition, check out The SCAR Project DC group page on Facebook.
The SCAR Project DC exhibition will kick-off breast cancer awareness month 2012 from our Nation’s Capitol. “Our goal is to make a strong statement by showing our country what breast cancer really is all about,” said The SCAR Project DC producer Donna Guinn Kaufman, who is also a breast cancer survivor, and founder of Kill the Cancer Beast Foundation, the organization spearheading production of The SCAR Project DC exhibition. “We hope to change the way that people look at this disease, and as such get people to take the action that is needed to end it!”
Cheers to that. And here’s to the DC cocktail party kick-off, and the upcoming exhibitions from DC to LA.